What matters to you, matters to me

A few years ago while listening to Kris Valloton, a sentence pierced my heart, “What matters to you, matters to me.” That is something the Father speaks to each one of us, all the time. That is the way He loves me, “What matters to you Dorothy, matters to me.” He likes doing what I do. He likes hearing about what excites me.

I realised instantly that even though I received that kind of love from Papa, I did not always love so deeply. I wanted to change it, so that I would take an interest in what mattered to others, even if it personally wasn’t something that floated my boat.

Father God quickly reminded me that when my Dad talked about golf I would tune out. Golf didn’t matter to me; I wasn’t interested. I asked the Lord to help me change that. To change my heart and love what my Dad loved.

Arnold Palmer said, “Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.”

That is true about loving and knowing someone too.  Investing in someone else requires me to stay connected to God and to continue growing. Not always easy, but It is so worth it.

The change in me didn’t just happen instantly. At first I would just choose to give my attention to my Dad when he talked about golf. I also began to watch golf on television when he had it on. I would actually repeat in my head, “Golf matters to my Dad, and so it matters to me.”

Somewhere along the way Dad invited me to come out with him for a drive to the country and hit a few balls. I had a belief that I couldn’t hit one because I had tried many times and failed when was young.  If I didn’t do it then, I didn’t think there was hope for it now. But I wanted to try to do it just to please my father. Well I hit the ball – the first time I tried that day with Dad. I LOVED it. It smashed an ungodly belief I had about my ability.

Much to my surprise my Dad’s joy became my joy. There is nothing like the thwack of a good tee shot. Sharing golf enthusiasm with my Dad has enriched my life. Something changed inside me. Loving something my Dad loves, sharing it with him, made me feel more connected to him. It opened me up to a world that I had not experienced before. I love to go out with Dad to the golf course and just watch what he can do. He has a powerful swing and I was never near it before. It is amazing to see him in action.

One of my favourite pastimes with my Dad is when we go golf ball hunting.  To do this one drives one’s vehicle slowly by a golf course and scans the ditches for any lost balls.  It is hilarious fun! My Dad has hundreds of golf balls and doesn’t need any more but the joy is in the hunt. He loves coming home with found balls to add to his stock.

When Paul was writing to Philemon, Apphia and Archippus he said,

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.  (Philemon 1:7)

May it be said of us, that our deep crazy love will give great joy and encouragement to other believers, and that we will refresh the heart of those closest to us.

love, Dorothy



  1. Heather England says

    Great stuff Dorothy! LOTS to think about.

  2. Bonnie Brooks says

    Way to go. A new twist of something I tend to do forgetting all else. I like the idea of actually trying to grow in the joy of another close friends favorite pastime. Very creative. The outcome is joy and closeness of communication. It also seems to give a new appreciation of life. Jesus was all about communication and committment to one another, with a focus on Him. This is the groundwork for setting up a rapport. Holy Spirit will prompt you when it is time to speak to him/her. Let them first admire your peace and joy. Everyone wants that.

  3. Greg says

    Wow – this was wonderfully writen. I compliment you Dorothy – I live far away and need to work more to stay better connected. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Dorothy says

      I love you big brother.

  4. Marjorie says

    Dorothy, you are A blessing. I’ve seen you in action! May God’s grace be used by me to practice “What matters to you, matters to me”.
    If we all took that quote to heart, what change might we see?
    Thanks, Dorothy, you have given us something to practice more of our Father’s love.

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